It Rained.....

Today it rained heavily in the city…. I don’t know why rain brings out so many emotions out of anyone. That reminds me of the title song of ‘Guzaarish’. So much pain and yet so simply the protagonist is asking for his last wish, to die in the arms of his love. The shadow of the dark clouds also brings out the darkness inside you… that of loneliness and being with someone you love the most. At the same time, the advent of rain makes you happy as it brings along with it the much needed change from the scorching heat of summer. Its like happier times arriving after a very rough patch in life.

Remember the times you had in the childhood. The fragrance of the first few drops made you feel like going into the rain and dancing all the way into it. The taste of the drops on your tongue was the most amazing thing in life. It brought the friends together to have fun floating the paper boats in the flowing water and jumping in the puddles of water formed everywhere. Carefree and bindaas…. That was the thing when it came to rains…

Then came a phase when you romanticized the rains… when the clouds shadowed the sun, you wanted to go for a long drive in a car/bike with plush green fields by the sides of the roads. The chance meeting with someone on the way and falling in love was the desire which dominated the thoughts. Though it also happened that you felt of enjoying your own company looking at the clouds and enjoying the blowing wind while sitting at a place in the arms of beautiful nature spread all around you.

Nowadays…I find myself and the people around me more worried about the city coming to a standstill and that’s why rushing home at the very thought of rain… We crib about everything related to rain…. Drenching in rain, poor infrastructure, cars splashing mud…. everything.

I wish I can go back into time and enjoy the rains as I used to do in childhood. Remember the song…. ‘Magar mujhko lauta do bachpan ka saawan… who kaagaz ki kashti.. woh baarish ka paani….’

You disappear....

Have you ever realized how engrossed we are with our own self that we seldom fail to notice that we are being a regular disturbance in someone else’s life. May be we are so locked in the penitentiary of our own thoughts and ennui that we keep beseeching the other person to help you emancipate from them.

Has it ever happened to you in life that when you need somebody so dear, you tend to lose him/her. And you will always be surrounded by people when you want them to all go away. Strange it might sound but true it is. Even sometimes it so happens that you have so many friends that you never care of losing one or two of them. So, you turn a blind eye towards some of them. And that’s when you tend to lose sight upon the person who cares about you the most. And that special someone who wants to live your dreams and strives to make all your wishes true, is left stranded with these words (Forgive me for this being the first poem I have ever written)….

The time that you disappear,
Every moment seems like a year.
Wish you could think the same way,
Wish to make you love me I could sway.

No matter how much I love you,
I will always be insatiable.
Wanna die for you,
Living without you is undesirable.
Wish you let me be a part of you,
Wish you let me be every breath of you.

No matter how hard I try to let you know,
I guess I will never be able to show
The way I feel for you,
How I care, I think about you.
I have been waiting for you all my life,
Now that you are here, why do I still have to strive?

I was dry and I was high,
Then you came by and made me feel I can fly.
Now you break my wings
And leave me with tears in my eye
Wish you fathomed my heart
Wish you gave it a try…..

So, look around….And you might find that the person you are searching the whole world for, may be standing just next to you and you realize when he/she goes away…Friends for life are hard to find…so when you have them…never let them go…

Give it a thought….

Time to bid adieu

Lovingly yours….
Narinder

Love is all around.....

Why does it so happen that you realize that you are in love when you are miles apart??
We never realize that mere presence of her juxtaposes reality with dreams; days with nights and sun with the moon….never do we hear the Music in sound of her feet moving towards us…

Then suddenly when she goes away, the whole world turns topsy turvy without her…Her picture ensconced in your heart but you still restless to get a glimpse of her. Every song you listen to reminds you of her, every little thing you do, unknowingly, you do it for her…Love suddenly turns you into a poet, a singer, a writer….you see her everywhere, every place….and still aren’t anywhere near her…You start seeing her image in the coffee cup, in the television and all the pretty faces remind you of her…

That’s the time you come to know that she is the one who makes the whole world blossom with her presence…..you know it’s winter when you see moon rising early to catch a glimpse of her….you know its raining when the sky starts weeping sans her…..

She is a delightful wonder, a tender thought, a petal of rose… though she is a girl…she seems like a bottle of wine…her eyes are so intoxicating….they leave you dazed and confused…The two strands of her hair covering her face leave you stranded….her voice is mixed with honey and sugar….a simple “hi” from her makes your day…..If she is the one you think of when you wake up in the morning…if she is the one whose thoughts keep you awake the whole day and if her is the last thought before you go to sleep…..My friend, you are in love with her…..

Time to bid adieu….

Love on…..

Dream on......

Have you ever noticed the palaces you build with the sand on the sea shore….You put in so much of effort and emotions as if they are gonna be there forever….But eventually what happens?? One wave takes it all away…You can either sit on the shore and crib of all the adversities of life or u can just move on......

Desires are like desert sand…. The harder you try to hold them in your hands, the more they will slip out of your grip….So sometimes its better that you let it go….To put it in the words of one of my favorite song by life house…

“Sometimes, last things you want comes in first,
Sometimes, first thing you want never comes,
Waiting is all you can do…..”

This is exactly what is happening to me from the last few days…..every little thing I want the most always finds a way to elude me….It uses all the tricks in the book of fate and makes a feint on me just when I think I am close to attaining it…….

But again….as I said…you have got two options at your disposal…..either sit and crib about it or leave it and move forward…..walk a little longer…may be the road is lonely and hard to take ……but easier ways are never meant to achieve anything substantial….things never always work out….you have to let some things go and hold on to some….that’s how it is supposed to be….

Same goes with love…..Sometimes it so happens that you love someone so truly, madly and deeply that even you don’t know when asked about the reasons of you being crazy about that someone…… But being in love is not being enough…no matter your love being true and pure…..no matter how good a person you are…… unless the person whom you love understands it too….. (The moral of the story being a heart broken friend of mine)….sometimes you just have to let it go…..hoping that the someone you love will some day understand…and as I said about the palaces of sand…..though they are washed away by the sea shores…they always remain in your heart synonymous to the dreams you built around them…..and so will that someone you love….

Again I would like to end with some of my favorite dialogues from the recent movie Rocky:

“The world ain’t about sunshine and rainbows,
It is a very tough and nasty place and it doesn’t care how tough you are,
It will beat you to your knees and keep u there permanently if you let it
You, me and nobody can hit as hard as life…
But it ain’t about how hard you hit
It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward
How much you can take and keep moving forward…
That’s how it is done…..”

Time to bid adieu…….

Dream on…….

Serendipity.....

Sometimes you plan some things to minute details but they do not turn out as you want them to be and sometimes it so happens that something happens out of sheer coincidence. As a matter of fact that’s what is happening with me these days.....It has been a concoction of feelings being served to me by life in the days going on…. My feelings are taking an errand between happiness and sorrows…. One moment makes me somber and the next takes me on a journey of eternal bliss…….

Some erratic incidents leave me perplexed…. This morning when I woke up….I had a strange feeling….When I squinted in the mirror….I saw something lurking around in my eye….It was a drop of tear which made its way through my cheeks to the ground leaving me with the memories of the dream I had…..I don’t exactly remember what it was composed of but it was about the iniquities of life…..

I was pensive about the topic last night that why is it that some people who have never hurt anyone get hurt instead…and the one’s who hurt leave unscathed…….but another thing I noticed about the former personalities is that they have certain patina of charisma attached to their personality which helps them to overcome all the difficulties and still help people without an expectation of a reward…….

Ohh…I turned from the subject I was on and that being the coincidences that occur in life….I never gave a thought to composing songs throughout my life…. But it so happened to me when I was walking my way back from the office to the hostel after a hectic schedule on one of my summer training day….suddenly I saw a couple chatting around in a corner and voila!!!…..I got the first words of my first song...Similarly…when I was about to go to sleep last night…..I got something going on in my mind…..And I got something to murmur in the sleep and in a minutes time I came out with my 13^th song…..I had packed my laptop before going to sleep as usual….suddenly I woke up and recorded the song on it so that I wont forget it in the morning….

And it so happened that I was working on my resume that Rex came to my room saying that he has learnt some chords of a film song……He is also in the process of learning guitar…..I listened to what he played and made him hear my new song….and asked him whether he would be able to play guitar for the same….he was a bit reluctant but then he tried and got it…..We recorded the song…..It goes like this:

“Yaadein teri Yaadein,
Aksar mujhe yaad aati hain
Dil ko mere tadpaati hain….
Tu bhi dekh ja ek baar….
Kya hua mera haal….
Tere bina….tere bina”

And the song looks professional though the guitar is being played by a Rex who terms himself a novice guitarist and I being one in the field of writing and composing….I think that is what is called as serendipity…….

Intricate and abstruse.......

Love is a complicated feeling. Sometimes you feel that you are in love when you aren’t and then sometimes when you are head to toes in love with someone, you never come to know that it is so. It is a situation in which you are serenely confident that and at the same time you proceed with some trepidation. Her thoughts make you blissful but at the same time her absence makes you somber. You may swagger to her with celerity, but never speak what you intended to. It is when she remains conspicuous in her absence; you know that you have fallen in love. It is when you see the reflection of your dreams in her eyes; you know you have fallen in love.

Love is about ruminations and its ramifications. Life is not fair and neither is love. It may so happen that you may be in love with somebody but the other person does not even care about you and your feelings. But sometimes we assume things because we are so preoccupied with our thoughts and expectations, that we ignore the omens around us. And that’s when you get hurt. It is very difficult to find someone who loves you with all his heart. And sometimes when you do, you let him go coz u din’t know; that he was the one meant for you, be in his arms you were supposed to.

Love is only a dream.And dream you must as it might come true....

To sum up in the words of Kahlil Gibran:

Think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course. Love has no desire but to fulfill itself. But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:

To melt and be running like a brook that sings it melody in to the night
To know the pain of too much tenderness
To be wounded by your own understanding of love
And to bleed willingly and joyfully
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving
To rest at the noon hours and meditate love’s ecstasy
To return home at eventide with gratitude
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips

And obviously my next song composition is also on the same topic......here are a few lines of it

"Tujhse pyaar kiya hai.....
Tera intezaar kiya hai
Teri nazarein mujhpe thehrengi,
Yeh aitbaar kiya hai....."

Dream on.......

Narinder......

My first song....

Today was the day when I sung before a huge crowd the song that i had written and composed....And it was well appreciated by the crowd.... Iam thankful to everybody.... It is all because of that ALMIGHTY GOD and MOM....Whenever something adverse is gonna happen to me .... my mom showers her bleesing upon me from above and I can feel that in the air....yesterday i was full of energy....as if she was somewhere among the crowd and watching me perform ... the only thing that came to my mind when people started clapping was my mom ... i miss you mom....
Anyways...another thing about the song...Its a very romantic song and i wrote the song while in
Mumbai but i was not able to get the other stanza... it was when i came to XL that I was inspired by this girl and the other stanza came to my mind... U know it happens sometimes, u see somebody and u feel like writing a song... that was the feeling i got and i wrote the other stanza.... and it came out very well....... i never thought that i can write so well...

Failure makes u change ... but then it taught me a lot more... to persevere against all odds and be successful despite many attempts... and i am proud that i learnt so much from my failures .....coz it had made me more humble and patient.....in her last days my mom used to tell me...to get back to my original self.... so here iam Trying to improve myself..... .....the only thing i try and do at this point of time in my life is to try not to hurt anybody's feelings.....

Thats all for today... next instalment ... soon

Narinder